Am I dying?

Day by day I'm getting weaker and I'm exhausted.! So tired but don't know why.
Whole day in school very mood-less. I've even skip my tuition today. I've never once skip my English class. This is my first time. 


There is this teacher, my account teacher. Scold me today in class for the things I dint do. My friend was talking to me then i listen. Of cause I'll listen. I don't understand how did the teachers said that when your friends are talking to you don't talk back. If you were talking to me should i do that too? Idiot. So as I was saying, I was listening to my friend she suddenly called my friend name and looked at me. I was like Hello wasted to scold me but forget my name? Might as well don't scold? Then my friend say teacher I'm here. The teacher laugh and point nono that girl over there then some guy say my friend that sits beside me then the teacher nono beside that girl. I was like I DINT TALKING A SINGLE WORDS ALSO! She just continue teaching. This is my first time scolding back at teacher I normally don't dare at all. Its fun actually. But I toke my water bottle and drink water of cause then I wanted to put down my water bottle i smack it hard. Everyone looks at me. Then she ask us to copy stuff I copy until like guys hand writing. As ugly as possible.


Then here comes this guy siting in front left hand side of me. Beside me no one cause my friend went in front to see cause she say hot like usual. Then she had to kick that guy away who is siting at that place. Then that in front left hand side that guy ask him to sit with him in the same chair. Then they sat down a few second i scold them why must you sit there? You always block me while I wanted to copy things on the board then one more. Why can't you sit behind there? There is a place at there. Everyone looked at me again. Then he wakes up and move away. I've had enough of him always blocking me. His usual sit aint there he change go there.


So fast my anger come and after that. After scolding someone i feel like crying. But i stop it. Its weird and scary to let people see I'm crying without a reason. Calling a person also so hard I've called them more then 3 times never answer I shout again. Then only answer. Giving the project paper I don't have one single paper I feel like crying and feels like no one understands me.


What's going on with me? My arm and fingers are actually in pain right now typing to update my blog. Whole body and mind in pain. Exam is next week. Great!..


I hope that I could hug you and cry. But its impossible cause I promise myself that I will wait until your SPM are over. Its so hard to hold back. Its even harder to not show you that I love you from always searching for you with my eyes rolling all around.


I'M EXHAUSTED OF EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE! Especially my friends. Its pointless having a friend like you in my life. No caring for others only for yourself. Hurts people to make you feel better.