04032011

I guess imma gonna talk some of the craps that i felt all this time. I'm sowie if its bored. :(

Well, after my uncle passed away. That day on. My eyes are not normal anymore. Its so weird. Its like even a little things that makes my eye pain wind blow crying movies even suddenly nothing happen. There are lots of tears falling down my cheeks. Especially, when crying movies or drama those sad parts. I tried not to see cause if i do. The tears wont stop running down my cheeks. Its like there is a spell in my that makes me like this. I wish i can break through it. Still missing you uncle. I think its like for so many month those feeling of crying and talking back about my uncle are still the same. Its so unfair. Its like i can really never break through anything. I'm so stupid. Every time when I'm facing them its like I'm putting on a fake smile on my face. Life is really like that? Is it all about your gone you die i cry I'm sad putting a fake smile? This is not call happiness. Love is bigger then family? I don't think so. If there is no family there are no love. Family are always first love is always the second. (I think i should change topic before I'm crying again. I'm such an idiot am I? I know I am :] )

After family then love? Let talk about love. :D

I love my family.

I love my friends.

I love my bed.

I love my phone. (although i always throw my phone on the sofa but some times it bounce and drop down on the floor my heart also follow fall down then shout OH MY GOD. But i keep on doing it over and over again. bad habit)

I love my cloths!

I love my water bottle.

I love my hair.

And I love you. XD

TEEHEE! I'm so random again.

To me being in a relationship don't really matter to me anymore. Have a crush is much more better. You won't fight with each other. You won't be unhappy and say I can't live without you and then go jump down the building (That's stupid). Then cry so much and can't open your heart to another person. And so much more stupid things.

Having a crush without telling them and being next to them being so close is so much better. Best friend is so much better. The way they talk to you and pats your head. Its so warm. Its like having a big brother. If i have a big brother that will be that good to me I'm so happy and glad. Too bad all my school kai gor also now work work work wait for their SPM result so less talk to me. And 4 of them still haven't belanja me starbucks yet. They are a liar. :(

Too many scars.